Tuesday, August 20, 2013

To GLEET or Not to GLEET

Gleeting Doodle (pen on scrap paper / 2013)
When I was in Grade School another lifetime ago, there was a certain skill set each and every young man vied to conquer.  This included many sects of marksmanship starting with the ability to launch a rubber band with razor precision from one hand.  Of course, using two hands with a rubber band is only acceptable in the case of the crossbow, where ammo is required in the form of folded paper, paperclips, etc.  Requiring a bit more mechanical engineering, the perfect paper plane and paper wad designs were openly and frequently debated.  Of course the basest and most primal of all aerial assaults involves one's saliva.  The oral arsenal consists of primarily two weapons: the loogie and the gleet.  The loogie would be the WMD of the two, having a large wad of phlegm at the center which explodes on impact.  The all so subtle gleet is the weapon of a more sophisticated assassin.  Gleeting incorporates the element of surprise as there is no throat clearing or cheek puffing required.  One simply masters the art of lifting their tongue and making a thin stream of fresh hot saliva arc forth.  Another method for those without full control of the tao of tongue is to push the spit through one's front teeth hydraulically launching a stream of attack.  As if the act were not vile enough in itself, the young soldier may find himself truly horrified at the origins of the word gleet.  The original use of this cute quip is to define the penile discharge from gonorrhea, which roots from Old French's glette which means "slime or secretion."  In fact, a true oral gleet would require combining the loogie with a gleet... a gloogie if you will!  Today's youth with the resources of the internet have modified the term in many circles to "gleek" which has many regional variations including glick, gland and geez.



    Say ah, GLEET, GLEET, GLEET, GLEET, Motherfuckers!!

    To the window, to the wall!!!

    I always called it a gleek.


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